Media Whore

"I only came here to do two things tonight, drink some beer and kick some ass...Looks like we're almost outta beer."

Saturday, February 05, 2005

NYPD Blue is Dead, Dead, Dead!!!

Like having Jimmy Smits invade the West Wing wasn't enough, a puffy-like-an-alcoholic Kim Delaney has invaded the OC!! WTF? Like we are supposed to believe that Sandy Cohen would be interested in her fat "I haven't had a drink in 15 minutes" ass when he has smokin' hot Kirsten at home. Riiiiiight! Shut up, Kim Delaney. I think your AA Meeting is about to start...

***Before you start yelling at me, I mean no offense to anyone who is in AA. Coming from a long line of alcoholics, I commend you for getting the help you need.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Insulting Our Intelligence

Who do the television execs think they are trying to fool!?!? I don't get it. When a character has been on a show for a certain amount of time, the audience becomes accustomed to a certain standard. And if that actor leaves the show, the audience expects that spot to be filled with an actor of the same caliber.

Well! NBC apparently does not follow that school of thought. What is up with the excessive amount of "B" actor replacements on their shows??

First came Law and Order. When Jerry Orbach (god rest his soul) left, I was interested to see who would replace him (although, really, there is no replacing Lenny Briscoe). Hmm...whom do we have here? Dennis Farina. Dennis Farina? No, really? Dennis? Farina? Hmph. Well that's just dumb. He is some sort of poor-man's Jerry Orbach! He does rotten "B" movies where he plays the same character over and over again. A loud italian guy, usually connected to the mob. He's not a cop for chrissakes! And certainly not a cop like Lenny Briscoe! He is irritating to watch. As much as I love me some Jesse L. Martin and Sam Waterston's eyebrows, I can't watch the show. He has ruined it for me. Thank you NBC for taking away something else that I love, when I have so little left!!

And how about the West Wing? You can't possibly have me believe that Martin Sheen, President Bartlett, is going to be replace by Jimmy Smits!?!?! C'mon! That is just ridiculous! What, is he the only Latino actor available. Just sitting at home, waiting for his phone to ring...

NBC thinks: "Hmmm...we need about Morgan Freeman?"
" Nah, he ALWAYS gets to be the President in every disaster movie. Who else?"
"We could use a Mexican?"
"Yes! Good! Let's go with that! Does Oscar De La Hoya act? He's pretty."
"Don't think so..."
"What about that Edwards James Olmos guy? He's good! That rape scene in...oh...never mind."
"Yeah, I think he's pretty busy doing Lifetime movies anyways."
"Is Dennis Farina Latin?"
"Oh, Law & Order already snagged him."
"Well fuck! Who else is there? We could never get Benjamin Bratt and Antonio Banderas barely speaks English, the audience would never buy it!"
"Hey, has that guy from NYPD Blue done anything lately?"
"Rick Schroeder? Gah! He has blonde hair, for chrissakes! Let's at least think of someone we can make into a Latino!"
"No! The other guy...with the wispy hair...Johnny...or Jimmy...Sfjjriutu..."
"Jimmy Smits! Yeah! Wait. Is he dead?"
"No! He just hasn't done anything. He was so desperate they made him a ghost on NYPD Blue. He probably paid them for that role. A ghost! HA! Loser! He's definitely available."
"And he's definitely a Latino."
"Then it's decided. Great. The audience will love this. They'll be so excited about an ethnic President, they won't even care that his last role was as a ghost!"

Well guess what NBC? WE CARE!! Stupid NBC! Stupid Jerry Orbach for dying! And stupid Jimmy Smits for not having a career!

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Nanny 911

I am absolutely appalled at this show. Here's an idea, why doesn't the Nanny take the parents outside and beat them? Because they really deserve it. They have to be the two DUMBEST people around. And they have reproduced. That really freaks me out. It's too bad they didn't read Mike's post first. They could have spared the world two more tantrum-throwing brats that will only go on to be manipulative teenagers and adults. Oh the joy that Fox spreads.

Buffy/Angel Sightings

Charles Gunn was on CSI:Miami last week. I miss him. They should put him on that show as a permanent cast member. Mmmmm...

Joyce Summers is pushing Advil on me. It freaks me out. Makes me think of the episode where The First makes Dawn see her again. And she is getting eaten by a devil dog thingy. *shiver*

Sunday, October 31, 2004


So I FINALLY found some decent scary movies on TV, but of course they are all edited for TV. Blah!

Anyway, I was watching Halloween and I couldn't help but notice how mean Lori's "friends" were to her! Maybe all that time Michael Meyers was just pissed at her friends for being mean to his little sister. And then he went after her because he was mad that she was a spine less wimp who let her friends put her down and walk all over her.

Didn't anyone ever think about that???

Sunday, October 24, 2004

I Feel Ripped Off!

Hmmm...I really don't think I am a kids book! And I am really starting to hate quizilla...

You are Stone Soup!
You are Stone Soup! Truly, you are classic
literature, but your cheerful effervescence
keeps you from being one of those boring
"adult" books. Aww! You're so cute!
"Make it well, and when it's done, share
Stone Soup with everyone!" You will also
enjoy any children's book.

Which Piece of Classic Literature are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


I tried to post the picture of Bam to this site, but instead it went to my other Blog. So click here to see how adorable he is. Anyway, it is 1:30 am and I am a big loser because I am still up watching reruns of Viva La Bam. And eagerly awaiting the premiere of his third season on MTV that starts tomorrow. And for the record, I am also totally addicted to Pimp My Ride. I don't know what's up with that. I guess I heart Xhibit, too. X to the Z, Baby!

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Most Pointless Use of 30 Minutes


Laguna Beach on MTV. I will never get those 30 minutes back. I could cry, it was so painful.

I think I could officially hate MTV for this. HATE.

Is it 1986?

Cameo will be playing in the LBC soon.


Cameo? Seriously? Cameo, as in "Word Up" and....ummm...did they have any other songs? I almost want to go just to see who pays good money to see Cameo.

I am at a loss.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Movie Quote Quiz of the Day

This is a great movie! It seemed particularly appropriate with all the talk of tiny food today. Please put your guess in the comments section:

"Something strange happened to me this morning..."
"Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?"
"Why am I the only person that has that dream?"